Stay at home mom guilt.

 I didn't think I would be writing another post about being a stay at home mom.  Again if you follow along you probably read the post about how last winter I transitioned from working mom to a stay at home mom and the challenges that came along with that.  It was a confusing and hard time, but I have learned to love this role.  My kids are warm, fed, and healthy.  That is the main goal is it not?  I have this opportunity to be at home, take care of the kids and be able to make every single activity, appointment, play date, or whatever it may be.  I get to be there.  Do we have to be slightly more careful with money without two incomes, of course we do, but right now its working and working well.  The kids didn't have to cut back in extra programs, in fact now they are able to do more.  We now have the freedom to be able to attend more things, get more things done at home, and be relaxed and happy doing it!  

    Recently I found myself in a conversation with.. well for lack of a better word, an asshole!  He was pushy and rude, asking me if I was still working.  I replied no I am staying home with the kids now.  To which he went off on a rant. "What? You just quit your job?" .. Well I wouldn't say I just up and quit. I stayed casual until the cut off timeline came along and I didn't need to keep it.  He was angry.  "So you just up and quit your job, how do you support yourself? "  I have a partner who supports us. (Not that I relayed this information to him)  I was fed up with the conversation already.  He went on and on how I am one of those people who just quit their job and have the government pay for their life. Now, I know this isn't true, the government pays me nothing, I did not go on EI or some supplement funding.  I have a partner who supports us all.  He works, I stay home.  When did this become something that is completely socially unacceptable?  

This man made me feel like a complete failure in life.  In that moment I felt defeated, and I cried.  I don't usually let people get to me, but this one stung.  Was I failing my kids and showing them something wrong by not working?  I know today most families are dual incomes and I think that's great!  If you are able to both work and manage the home that is amazing.  BUT... Why is it so bad if you are able to stay home and still support your family?  This used to be the norm.  One person works while the other is a homemaker.  Women fought for the right to be able to choose.  Not to get big into feminism here, but that is what they fought for.  The right to choose, to be at home OR to go to work.  

Somehow that changed, I was reading another blog and the woman was furious with other women who want to stay at home, saying they fought to be able to work and women are going backwards.  I do not believe this to be true.  I truly believe the true win here is to have that option.  When did the world get so twisted that people literally become angry because of what you choose in YOUR household.  It doesn't have any affect on their day to day life, why does it cause so much anger?  Back to this man calling me down because I chose to stop work and be there for my kids.  He was angry, like beyond angry and my question is why?  

This is my take on this subject.  I am happy being at home, some days get boring, the same routine over and over, but I love it. I love being able to be with my kids at the drop of a hat.  I LOVE getting to attend every single hockey game my boys have.  I love being able to have the time to plan out meals, get the laundry done and my own extra projects.  I almost let that man make me feel like less,  I am not less, if anything this gives me more.  This shows my kids more.  That mom can be there,  they are only small and need you for such a small time frame.  I want to take this time and enjoy it and be there with them, not stuck at work missing their events or trying to juggle schedules.  I am showing my kids that mom CAN work, she CHOSE not to, to be there for them at this time.  I think its empowering for women to find a man who can support them like that.  To find a provider that loves the idea of you being there keeping home together.  I am raising boys and I think its important that they see this as well.  You are the provider for your family. I feel like they also see that a moms job is not easy either.  They learn to appreciate it, and hopefully take it into their own family values someday.  

This post was more of a rant, but I needed to get it out there.  Women need to stop judging other women.  Men need to get their heads on straight.  The power is in that option, to be able to choose to work or be at home.  I choose to be at home.  That is my power, and it holds so much.  I am hanging on to that and refusing to let anyone take that from me.  YOU CHOOSE WHATS BEST FOR YOUR FAMILY! I support anyone's decision.  What you do in your household that makes you happy, do it.  People stop looking at other people and judging their lives.  Worry more about your own.