The start

 Some of you might never find yourself in this situation, but others might relate very closely to this. Okay picture this you are separated, or got a divorce and met someone new.  This new person in your life not only takes on your kids, but they have kids of their own.  How do you put all of this together as smooth as possible?  That was my biggest question and fear entering a new relationship.  This is my experience with it and of course it is not the same for everyone.   I met my current spouse and we fell head over heels fast.  It was tricky at first, I almost felt guilty sneaking around the kids.  Why? It was not because I wanted to hide anything, I think in these situations you just want to be sure that this person in your life is going to stay before bringing them home to the kids.  I worked full time and basically had my kids full time, there was not much down time of just me alone.  My partner also worked full time and he h...

So you find yourself newly single after years of being with the same person.  What now.  That was my question, what do I do now?  My entire life I have been with someone.  I went from living at home with my parents to moving in with my husband.  There was no life in between.   We find ourselves in a new era, where you don't go down to the bar, or chance meeting someone on a night out or mutual connection.  How do most people connect in the world, the internet.  Dating apps.  I didn't know where to start, so I leap in.  I downloaded a dating app. It takes you through all kinds of questions about yourself, asks you to write a bio.  Who else hates writing about their self?  This small five or six line long message is supposed to tell people who I am and why they should want me?  As if!  Well I did it, after signing up my friends found the fun in it for me, constantly taking my phone looking at profiles and choosing ...

 I decided to tell the story of the very last time I gave birth.  It's a trauma story for me, but talking about it now seems to help me realize how scary the situation actually was.  I was a working mom, three boys already at home, a strained relationship and the fear of giving birth one last time.  After my third I was done, I had two births with no pain killers, my third I gave in and had the epidural, it was amazing, but the experience itself was still traumatic to me.  I did not want to do it again, a feeling I feel many women go through, when they are done they are done.  Finding out I was pregnant with my fourth was instant fear.  I was in a rocky relationship with my husband, on the verge of leaving, I had finally found a career I loved and just started going to college for it, and this happens.  Isn't that how life works sometimes?  We think we have it figured out and then life says, nope lets through a curve ball.   I went ...

 Have you ever looked back at your life and realized you might have been sleep walking through it?  Well I did, and I was.  Lets go back to the beginning, I had a typical small town life growing up on a ranch.  I had the whole deal, two loving parents, 4 siblings I looked up to and a great group of friends.  My life was pretty normal day to day, helping my dad with the animals, school, sports and friends.  My life was just plain, simple and uncomplicated, until it wasn't.  Going into grade 12 the pressure is on to plan what you want to do with your life, where do you want to go to school, how do you plan to pay for school?  The entire senior year stress.  My senior year ended, and my adult life was forced to start.  I want to prepare you for what you are about to read, its raw, its real, its my life experience.  I know not everyone shares this experience, but I do know thousands of women have my experience and it is not talked about...