Putting your kids in danger.. on purpose??

Let's talk about kids, the light of our lives, the things you love and want to protect from the world.  Honestly though, have you ever just wanted to bundle them up in bubble wrap and shield them from all of the pain and ugly in the world?  I know I did.  I wanted to keep them from ever feeling pain, or hurt.  I remember one time all of my kids had a bad flu, and they were up crying and throwing up and just feeling awful.  I sat up with them crying, wishing I could take on everything they were feeling just to spare them, to take it all away.   I am sure every parent has had this feeling, wanting to take the hurt on themselves to spare the kids.  Unfortunately we live in a world where that just is not possible.  Growing up, they have to go through all of life's ups and downs.  It is your job as their parents to guide them through this, to learn to take on the pain, but learn to release it and let it go as well.  We have to teach them that, broken bones will heal, cuts and scrapes will go away, it is all temporary.  

My boys I would describe as wild and feral, and I think everyone who knows us would agree.  I chose early on to accept their wild lifestyle and be there to pick them up when they fall down.  Kids are crazy, they have no fears, they run, they jump, the climb trees, they set ramps up to jump with their bikes, they are just plain crazy! I always tell people having boys is not for the weak!  My second oldest has had more stitches in first five years of life than I have had in my entire 32 years!  We called him our accident prone child, because if there was a way to hurt himself, he would find it!

  I remember my sister in-law had taken my boys up to her place while I was at work.  They were busy building a deck on their newly moved in house.  Shortly after arriving to work she called me... the call went... "Oh,, Umm Hi Bre, How is it going?......" Then silence.  I was working at a restaurant in town so I was confused... "Um good?  Did you want to order food, or did you need something?".... Another long pause from her and then "Well um, we are putting the deck railings on and well... Carter had to pee and well......." She paused and paused and then I heard "Well um here talk to Sheila"  Sheila was my mother in-law at the time who also raised three wild boys, she grabbed the phone "Carter cut his head open and needs stitches"  Straight to it.  I left work, took him to the hospital and got him all stitched up.  Talking with my sister in-law after she told me how she can't believe how calm I am, how she panicked seeing blood gushing out of his head, and I just laughed, she has girls she hadn't experienced the boy effect, blood is a very usual occurrence. 

I adapted to the lifestyle of, well these boys are going to try dangerous things, so my job is to let them.  Teach them to do dangerous things safely.  Boys will be boys, they are going to do it regardless, so why not teach them how to do it the proper way, under proper supervision.  I can't bubble wrap them and keep them from it, but I can be there to pick them up dust them off and keep them moving.  

My kids have been around horses their entire lives, I taught them how to ride, how to fall off, how to get back up the works.  My oldest took to it so quickly, he loved it.  I had started entering him in the local kids rodeos for horseback riding events only.  After a year of going to the rodeos the dreaded question I had been waiting for came.  "Mom I want to try steer riding"  My answer. "NO!"  Absolutely not. I had been around horses my entire life, but steer riding, bull riding the rough stock events I had zero experience in. It scared me.  He was only eight years old at the time I thought he was too young, but he was persistent.  So one rodeo I caved, I said fine go ahead and try it.  My inside thoughts were.. Okay he is going to try this, fall off get hurt and be done.  Turns out, I was dead wrong.  

Here I am in the stands shaking like a leaf, filled with worry, panic and fear.  What if he gets stepped on, what if he hits his head.  This is a terribly rough sport and it puts the best of the best in the hospital.  My heart I swear you could hear from the next town over, almost pounding out of my chest.  I watched holding my breath as the shoot opened, and... he rode, and he rode well, scoring pretty high for a first time ride.  I let out a sigh of relief, only to take a big deep breath of panic back in.  Oh no. He rode.  He rode and he loved it.  This was the start of something.  

Here I am signing him up for the next rodeo in the riding events and, you guessed it back into the steer riding.  I am literally signing a paper putting my child in the direct line of danger on purpose.  The fear I felt every ride that season I could not even explain.  I held my breath every single time that shoot opened.  Looking back I really realize my fear was of the unknown.  This was a foreign sport for me, I knew nothing about it, how to do it, or how to do it safely.  

I did some research and found a steer riding school.  I immediately signed him up, if he was going to do this dangerous sport, I was going to make sure he had all of the knowledge and tools to do it safely.  I choose the very first Dakota Buttar school.  Best decision I have ever made.  He learned how to be safe in the shoots, what to do, what not to do.  He learned how to get off safely, where to run how to roll.  The works.  The dedication that Dakota gives to those students is actually amazing.  He talked them through everything, he would get right inside the shoots with them, and make them extremely comfortable.  It really was the best beginner school I could have asked for.  

We have continued to go to the same school every year since, my son has since outgrown it, but he still loves it.  Currently this year we are waiting for May to come so my other son who just turned 8 can take part in the school.  Guess what?  No fear, I do not having those feelings of fear and anxiety of it, because we have gone through it, I have seen my oldest grow in the rodeo community and in his riding abilities, with all the support of teaching them how to do it safely.  Here I am again ready to sign another one of my sons up, to put them in direct danger, on purpose.  

I feel as parents we have to let our children explore, we have to let them push boundaries, find their limits all while being safe, because at a point in their lives we are going to have to let them go out into the world on their own, and trust we did our very best to prepare them to take on the world by themselves.  It is such a hard process letting them do these things, with every little fear creeping in of them getting hurt.  We have to have faith and trust in the growing up process.  Be there, teach them, and let them try.  

My oldest son has excelled in his dangerous sport, last season being his best he ended up ending the season in the number one spot out of twenty some other boys.  He worked hard for this, he took tips and pointers from everyone around him.  He trusted in himself and he had us as his support system.  I am unbelievably proud of what he has accomplished.  He worked hard for it.  I am going to brag just slightly here of just how impressive his season was.  My son no longer does any of the riding events, he does one event at the rodeo the steer riding.   At finals every competitor gets a back number, your back number  is decided by the amount of total points you have for the season.  People who are in multiple events add more points because you get points from each event and how you place in that event.  There was over 100 competitors at finals, so the back numbers start around 100 and go down.  Back number 100 being the least total points down to number 1 who has the most total points for the season.  Keep in mind only the top ten from each event gets invited to finals, so going to finals is already impressive on its own.  Out of every competitor in the entire rodeo all age groups my son received back number 10. 

He not only made number one in his group of top ten steer riders, he made top ten out of everyone at the rodeos.  I was so impressed with him.   He reached this new high in his life, because of a split decision to let him try this dangerous sport I was against at the start, and I am so glad that I finally let him try.  

I'm not saying we should go out and let our kids try every dangerous idea they come up with.  I am saying, sometimes it is okay to let them try dangerous things.  Teach them to do it the safe way and be there to help them along.  Everything in life can be dangerous, all sports have risk, all activities have risk.  My son plays hockey, and they get hit, or tripped they fall into the boards, every moment could be the one where something bad happens, but where did he break his arm, at school on a small sledding hill.  We cannot protect them from everything.  There is risk in everything we do.  Let them go out, let them be wild.